Good afternoon, dear readers! With you, we will discuss the most pressing questions about the development of our children, give each other advice and just support. After all, motherhood is not just happiness, but also a lot of worries, troubles, and disagreements with loved ones. I think, reading the column, you will recognize yourself, find answers to the most pressing issues and just sincerely rejoice! We will talk about everything with you: about the adaptation of our kids to kindergarten, about strengthening immunity, about useful developmental activities at home and on the street, about children's doctors, about our frequent mistakes ...
Today I would like to touch on the eternal topic. Communication of the child with adults, the framework in which we drive our own child, the frequent problems of modern mothers and so on. When I was pregnant with twins, I did not even think about what awaited me in the future. Like many women, I absolutely did not understand what kind of mother I would become, that I would give my boys, I just believed that I could give them happiness. But time passed and each ... every person from my family, my husband's family ... considered it my own duty to teach me how to live.
What not to do?
1. Unanimity in the family. I remember situations from my own experience. All children love to receive sweets, and sometimes they require them. I taught the children to the fact that the candy, chocolate or cake will be, but only after they eat what I see fit. So after lunch, a small promotion does not hurt and everyone will be satisfied. But the grandmothers in our family love to pamper their granddaughters in every way, regardless of what time they have lunch, justifying their actions is very simple: “Well, grandmother doesn’t see his grandchildren so often!”
Result: the child cannot understand why the mother forbids to eat something tasty, if the grandmother allowed everything yesterday. Tantrum, crying, insults.
The way out: Remember, the child will be able to understand what is required of him only when everyone ... only everyone ... family members will adhere to the same rules. Rules of behavior, upbringing should be discussed at a large table even before the birth of the baby or immediately after its appearance.
2. Communication with dad. In the late afternoon, the husband returns from work. I understand that very soon the children need to go to bed, and active games have no use. I am one of those boring and tedious moms who do not know how to indulge with their children to the fullest because of their complexes. Well, I don’t know how to run around the house, introducing myself as a pirate 🙂 In our family, I am responsible more for the development and education of miners, diluting leisure with new games. The husband is a supporter of running around and active games, because the kids in every possible way papa dad after work to play. This is wonderful, because not all men are interested in communication with a small child. But everywhere must remain the golden mean.
Do not argue with the husband, proving the correctness. The tired man next time just does not want to play with the child. Make up your own quieter games and offer them to your dad and child. My defenders, for example, are now rolling cars in the evenings.
3. Guests and holidays. One of the grandmothers believes that he can come to visit his grandson at any time. Here comes the grandmother when the baby has to go to sleep. Of course, there can be no talk about sleep. So it should not be. If you once (and maybe even now) are not bothered by the question about the mode of the child’s day, you will understand me. I taught the children that the regime should be. Believe me, just a couple of weeks and the baby himself will show you that it is time to get ready for bed or walk. If the child goes to kindergarten, then do not forget about the regime on weekends. If on Sunday you decide to put him to bed too late, because many guests came in the evening, then on Monday in the kindergarten the activity of the child will be reduced due to lack of sleep and too bright emotions the day before.
What do we have to do? Explain to friends and relatives that now you need to adapt not only to their business and care, but also to create comfortable conditions for the baby. Make all appointments at a time when the child is set up to communicate, and not to relax.
4. Neighbors and friends in the yard. Why are our children often shy of simple things? When meeting with some people, ask for pens to mom or dad and do not even look in the direction of others? Sometimes you can hear such conversations on the playground: “I haven't been willing to sit down on the pot for a few days already, and my last week in the kindergarten has incidents, I just have to wear clean things, and my doctor said ...”. Remember, you do not need to discuss absolutely all things in the presence of children. You embarrass them. For example: some mothers perceive it very painfully when the child cannot abandon the nipples, and the grandmother coming out of the door considers it her duty to say: “But nowadays everyone has already been without nipples. Rather, wean the child! ". So why do you think that the baby wants her neighbor Tanya to know how he poked yesterday?
The child should feel safe at home. He wants to know that there are things that can be trusted only to the closest people. Do not put the child in an awkward position, because such conversations are very often and cause embarrassment in front of other people.
5. Kindergarten. Sometimes there are such educators who consider the main task - to monitor the children. About any training and speech can not be. And sometimes there are teachers of the old school, for whom it is very important that every child eats all the semolina and adheres to strict rules. Anyway, you should pursue the same goals with the tutor. Such conversations as: “Yes, I don’t care what Olga Anatolyevna says! I am your mother, so it’s up to me to decide ”or“ You’ll be clever at home, and I’ll decide in a group! ”Should not be! Communicate with the teacher, discuss problems and possible solutions. If the connection did not work out, it is better to choose another kindergarten for the child. Here he should feel at home, and not be uncomfortable.
As you already understood, the main thing is to identify the rules of upbringing and education with all adults who will communicate with the baby. Understanding, comfort, smile and joyful communication of the baby with parents, grandmothers, friends, educator is the key to a happy carefree childhood.
Of course, I gave only small examples. In your life, things can be very different. Share your experiences and situations, because the main thing is to be able to draw conclusions. And next time we will talk in more detail about kindergarten. I happened to work as a tutor, I saw different children, parents, colleagues. There are a lot of situations that I would like to discuss with you!
