Well, of course, not forever!
Everything that happens around us is a reflection of our inner world, our thoughts and feelings.
The main thing is not to despair: any person can get rid of loneliness.
How to get rid of loneliness: where does it come from and what to do with it
There are more than enough reasons for loneliness. There is also a youthful time when you want so much, but so little experience. And, on the contrary, old age, not brightened up by understanding relatives. And a divorce from her husband, to whom the best years were given. And death, which always carries away the most beloved. And the unsuccessful search for a loved one or at least a partner with whom you can navigate the path is not a happy, but certainly not a boring watch.
There is an opinion (thanks to the cinema) that loneliness is the scourge of megacities. One could agree if women and men in small towns and villages did not suffer in the same way from longing and hopelessness. It seems to go outside - and here they are, people. You can communicate, laugh, love. In general, enjoy life. But no: constant stress, tension, panic, sadness about and without, depression, distrust, lack of basic communication skills can ruin any life. Please note: loneliness and negativity are closely related.
But the most destructive emotion is fear. This is what you need to get rid of immediately. Fear paralyzes someone, makes someone commit crazy and meaningless actions. Both that, and another will bring nothing good, because the initial message is negative.
At heart, every single person is afraid of something, flees from something. And therefore loneliness, like devastation, is not in closets or “force majeure circumstances”, but in the heads. How to get rid of loneliness? Replace minus with plus. It is difficult, but not impossible. Find the cause of fear and eradicate it - this is the main task of a lonely person. Sometimes without the help of a psychologist can not cope.
Someone does not like their own appearance, inability to interest the interlocutor, and he is afraid to seem ridiculous, absurd, that is, afraid of ridicule and humiliation. Often very young girls and boys, deprived of self-confidence, are distinguished by excessive shyness.
Someone received a cruel emotional lesson (the husband left or died, the guy abandoned, the girlfriend betrayed) and now subconsciously strive to avoid pain by subconsciously cutting off all attempts at intimacy with another person. Someone, on the contrary, devalues the relationship, rushing into the arms of a stranger with ease and indifference. In fact, this is the same fear of a serious relationship and, as a result, emotional loneliness.
How to get rid of loneliness: the opinion of men about single girls
How often do girls dream of getting rid of loneliness! They cry into the pillow and start virtual novels, putting on the street the face of the grieving Mother of God or showing an extreme degree of misanthropy. Do you think that such an image looks mysterious and attracts men's hearts? Not at all. The mask only repels others.
What annoys men in single girls? To be honest, a lot.
• Emphasized suffering on the face (pity me, pity me, I am so alone!). Men instinctively avoid participating in other people's problems - there are enough of them. Yes, and just unpleasant, because it is too complicated. Therefore, the suffering beauty has fewer chances to get rid of loneliness in her personal life than the optimist with an ordinary appearance.
• Excessive exactingness. “Picky brides” already at the first date conduct almost an interview, carefully figuring out their financial situation and defiantly evaluating the external data of a possible boyfriend. Alas. Will there be a desire to invest in the heavenly beauty of the nearby young lady in an independent and attractive man? That's it.
• A clear desire for marriage. Yes, a union of hearts and all that. But a man gets acquainted not for the sake of creating a family, but for the sake of relationships and (sorry for frankness) sex. And he does not care about general peanuts and utility bills, but about relations with an attractive girl (not in slippers, but in heels!), The opportunity to feel like a Man, not a social function.
• The habit of complicating things. Self-digging is not a feeling that is close to men. It's not about the depths of the soul, but about petty pickiness, the tendency to analyze what does not need analysis, the ability to level out scandals out of the blue and sulk for weeks over nothing, mysteriously (or reproachfully) keep silent and spoil the mood for oneself and others. Any man will run away from such a woman.
• Inability to love. Having read the popular "psychology for dummies", a woman can believe all sorts of nonsense. For example, the fact that she came to the world just to take. That is her nature! In general, every woman is a wave, and a man is a vector. And he should gladly give, and she graciously accept. Only in this case will the exchange of energies be correct, harmonious. It’s hard to come up with more nonsense. A harmonious exchange in relationships is when loving people joyfully and unconditionally give themselves to each other. His warmth, participation, attention - that which is truly valuable, that is, the soul. If a woman intends only to take, he will be alone. To get rid of loneliness, you need to learn how to give and sincerely care for something else.
How to get rid of loneliness: questions for reflection
To understand what is wrong with you, why you are single, ask yourself some simple questions. Just try to answer them honestly.
• Do I really want to communicate with people - men, neighbors, friends, colleagues? Do I feel the need to share my thoughts, emotions with them, am I ready to listen to them and help - with advice or action?
• Do I like to feel in society? What emotions arise in me, should I be among familiar people? Where is it more comfortable: with strangers or those I know?
• Can I change my bad mood and how? What gives me loneliness - maybe protection? Confidence? Security?
• Do I like virtual communication more than living, real, and why?
• Do I really want another person to live next to me? Am I ready to share one space with him?
Clear and honest answers to these questions will help you understand a lot about yourself. Including prompt how to get rid of loneliness, because the tips will become obvious. You can convince yourself as much as you like that living alone is better, easier and simpler, but in reality helplessness, a sense of one’s own inferiority hides behind loneliness.
Many internal complexes, parental attitudes and prejudices can interfere with the creation of a love and friendship.
If a girl is forced to impose on a child from childhood that the first step in a relationship should be made by a man, that only modesty adorns, and inaccessibility is worthy of all praises, one can ruin a child’s life. Of course, this is not about swagger, but about readiness for dialogue, openness, the ability to take the first step towards another person, and most importantly - to feel confident.
If you do not teach a child in childhood to make decisions, he will grow up infantile and will wait for someone to come and dilute the silence of loneliness. If you still believe in it - it's time to change! Only you yourself are free to take a step forward or stay in place forever.
If a woman believes that men are scum, women are traitors, children are little monsters, and the neighbors are completely alcoholics and gossips, she is doomed to meet old age in the cat society (maximum - canaries). Change!
If it seems to you that the reason for your loneliness is the zero bra size, height 155 cm, full hips and yellow (sorry) teeth - change! Engage in a figure by devoting a few hours a week to a trainer in the gym, rather than fruitless discussions with walls or spitefulness on online forums. Stand on your heels, visit your dentist, upgrade your wardrobe. Do at least something, and the fear will go away, replaced by confidence, freedom and a smile so attractive to others.
How to get rid of loneliness: advice from psychologists
Only by changing internally, you can change your reality, make the material world the way you want. This is the main answer to the question of how to get rid of loneliness.
Here's what psychologists advise:
• work on self-esteem, raise it to an adequate level;
• stop feeling sorry for yourself - this is stupid and unproductive;
• do not try to hide behind someone else's image, be yourself;
• learn to communicate: developed communication skills will expand the circle of communication, and loneliness simply will not have a chance;
• remove excessive demands and get rid of other people's attitudes, imposed opinions, stupid prejudices;
• constantly develop: read, study, master the craft more. Stop is death, including in a relationship.
Loneliness should not be confused with love for solitude.
If you feel comfortable in company with yourself - maybe this is not a disaster, but happiness?
In any case, respite in communication with the world is completely normal and even desirable.
He is too fast, informational dense and energy-consuming, our wonderful world.
